Build-A-Bear

Ever had so much serious stuff going on that you don't want to think about it or talk about it? I certainly have. Sometimes things just get complicated and you need to take a break and not face everything all at once, which might be why the first thing that popped into my head when I started this post was how much I wanted to go to Build-A-Bear. And can you blame me, they're so cute and it always looks like so much fun!

How did this all start? Before Christmas, the college had a bus trip to Easton (an outdoor mall a couple hours away) for five dollars and Joseph and I decided to go. We had a fabulous time! He humored me and looked at clothes in a couple of stores, we did some Christmas shopping for friends and family, we had a fantastic lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, and we spent at least a couple of hours in Barnes and Noble (it's not hard to do). What we didn't get to do? Build-A-Bear. Why? The long line of about three dozen small children and their parents stretching out the door and down the hall in the indoor mall.

Our trip to Easton is one of the many fond memories I have of Joseph and my time together, especially the long trip back through backed up traffic. What should have taken two hours took four and we had a chance to talk and dream about the future. We planned a hypothetical wedding (and I determined that he has far too many relatives). We talked about our religious differences but this time in terms of their similarities. It was a night I will never forget, and it was quality time together that we don't often get with such busy lives.

Still Here!

So life's distracted me from my blogging, along with illness and computer problems (my laptop is currently in for repairs). I would try to fill in the details of the past few months if I thought that were possible, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible. It will suffice to say that I have been extremely busy and I will make sure everyone is aware of any life-changing events at a later date...there are a few.

Other than that, I hope everyone has enjoyed a wonderful holiday season full of love and laughter and that those New Years resolutions are off to a good start. I'm still working on those (last year I believe I resolved not to make any resolutions...and inherently broke my resolution). This year, however, there are definitely some things I need to change.

I had an enjoyable Christmas and New Years, though I wish Joseph had been able to make it. He was in California with his family for Christmas and New Years, and flew to New Jersey yesterday to take Winter Interim classes at Rutgers. Unfortunately, I still don't get to see him. It's only two more weeks before we're back at school though, and then I get to spend a lot more time with him!

What's on my mind lately? Relationships and whether or not mine has a chance, what I need to change for the New Year, how to knit through my yarn stash (or who to give it to), what's going to happen this summer when Joseph graduates and whether or not we'll be together, work, my weight, dealing with my wacky emotions (it's like I'm PMSing ALL THE TIME...and no, I'm not pregnant), classes for next semester, not falling apart and losing my mind...realistically I think I've already lost it.

Knit, Knit, Knitting!

One of my goals this summer was to work on knitting through my stash...soooo I have a new project, a throw/afghan that will eventually be a gift for my mom if I ever finish it! And by new I mean I have already worked on it for approximately eighteen hours and guess how long it it? Six inches...a whole six inches! I'd like to note that I am NOT a slow knitter (though I won't be entering any speed knitting competitions...those people are crazy, in a good way), I'm an average knitter. I timed myself and it takes me approximately twenty minutes per row in wave stitch.

Unfortunately today I found a dowel rod so I could spread it out and check the width and it is about a foot narrower than I had hoped (which is why I am classifying it a throw/afghan instead of an afghan/blanket, haha). Anyhow, my blanket is currently three feet wide and six inches long...according to my calculations this means I have at least another 162 hours of knitting to do. That's 6.75 days nonstop, holy cow! The good news is that I don't have to worry about completing it super fast. If I can finish it in time for Christmas or, more likely, her birthday I'll be good to go! Given my track record with large knitting projects, however, who knows if I'll ever finish it.

I also have a series of other projects that are at various stages of completion. This includes two other blankets, a baby blanket, a teddy bear that still needs a face (and probably wishes its arms and legs were attached), a scarf that matches a set of fingerless gloves and hat, and a shawl that somehow managed to partially unravel itself. There might be more. Keeping that in mind, I have enough yarn to complete those projects plus some. Of course now I've found a myriad of exciting new patterns and, miracle of miracles, almost none of them require yarn I already have in my stash...that means they'll have to wait (possibly an eternity) because I will not allow myself to buy any more yarn until I have used up the majority of my stash (unless it is to complete an existing project).

I will be sick of knitting well before that happens.

Friday Blog Hops!

So this week I decided to try something new, and all of the Friday Blog Hops out there sounded like fun (not to mention a great way to discover a few new blogs and meet new people). Thanks to those of you who are visiting, feel free to leave a comment! I'm off to go browse some new blogs!

Kayak Tipping

So a few days back my dear Joseph decided to drop his cell phone in the ocean...okay, to be fair I'm sure it was an accident (as was simultaneously ruining his watch and flipping his kayak over in the first place)...but still. Needless to say, his cell phone no longer works in spite of his insistence that if he dries it out he could make it work again (it's dry and it's still not working), and I'm not happy about it. I mean, I didn't even get to witness the kayak flipping, which judging by his account was pretty hilarious...think of the pictures I might have had!

Anyhow, I'm not usually dependent on technology and would have no problem turning off my cell phone for a day. Apparently my problem is when other people don't have access to technology. Even then, I'd normally just shrug it off and think "Well, at least I can call him on his home phone". The problem? There's a three hour time difference, which automatically throws everything off...and I have a habit of needing to talk to him at the most ungodly hours California time. I can't call him on his home phone because I'd wake up his whole family, and I'm sure that calling them at two o'clock in the morning won't earn me any gold stars.

I just wish he'd go get a new phone...it's already been something like four days and he doesn't seem to understand my frustration, even if it is kinda dumb. He's usually the only person I call or text on a regular basis, and I miss being able to send him random, quirky messages or wish him goodnight before I go to bed. They're little things but they mean a lot to me.

I still wish I could have witnessed the kayak tipping adventures though, haha. ;)

A New Layout And More...Yay!

I apologize for the appearance of my blog for the past day-and-a-half or so. I was working on designing a new layout...the old one was a little, well, old and I was ready for a change. I'll probably still be tweaking things for the next couple of days (I'm not sure how happy I am with everything just yet) and I'll be adding content to my new static pages (see the cute new buttons at the top of the blog!). For those of you who know me, it's a bit more colorful and girly than you're used to but that's how I was feeling at the time...colorful! Also, I'd appreciate any suggestions you might have for layout, background, content, pages, etc.

In addition to my changes on this blog, I have been working on getting a couple others going...eventually three if I'm feeling ambitious. Why, you might ask? Because I simply can't find a way to lump all of my interests into one blog without total chaos. Anyhow, I'll have more on that as I finish working on them. I can tell you right now, I'm SUPER excited about sharing them with you!

So Close And Yet So Far

Joseph and I have been together for five months as of today, though it seems as if we've known each other for years. I thought that, since he has been the principal thing on my mind lately I might as well blog about it. I'm not quite sure why I'm thinking of this now or what exactly writing about it will accomplish but here it goes...even if I don't know exactly where this is going.

I keep reading the blogs of military wives, partially because my cousin, Holly, is an Air Force wife and has been living in Idaho for the past two-ish years...partially because I wonder if someday that could be me...partially because of the great love and respect I have for military families and for the men and women who give their lives for my freedom every day. Whatever the reason, their stories have touched me. On one hand, I feel their loss, their joy, their frustrations...on the other, I realize I can only begin to imagine what they feel.

There are parts of it that I do understand. I understand the frustration with the military and how hard it is to see someone you care about doing everything they can to be allowed to serve their country, attempting to navigate the paperwork and countless obstacles that stand in their way, only to be met with more obstacles.

Joseph wants to serve his country as a Marine, but due to childhood misdiagnoses he has been seeking medical waiver after medical waiver. He gave them all the paperwork they requested as proof that he had been misdiagnosed and was fit for service, but before they even received everything they gave him a permanent disqualification from the armed forces. It's frustrating for him and I wish there was something I could do to help, but all I can do is be supportive and offer encouragement.

Life Lesson Number One...

...I will never understand people. Just when I think I know someone they turn around and surprise me. It's a good thing...generally. It can also be a very bad thing; I suppose that is the nature of surprises. Just when I think life isn't interesting enough it gets far too interesting, and not always in a good way. And of course, just when I figure out one thing, life dumps something else on me that I can't seem to figure out (talk about vicious cycles).

Fortunately, I always have someone to come find me and scrape what's left of me off the ground and try to patch things up. They do a pretty good job of it too I'll admit. I just wish they didn't have to (they probably wish they didn't have to too...that's what makes them so incredible). Maybe that's life lesson number two: no matter how bad things get, you're never alone.

We all have bad days and we face challenges that seem nearly impossible to overcome, but even when life's obstacles seem impassible we can face our problems and our fears...thanks to love, family, and friendship. It seems so simple but I feel that, more than anything, I need to remind myself of this. Whether we feel as if we have succeeded or failed we have learned something from our experiences, and somehow we find the strength to pull ourselves together even against all odds.

Following In My Footsteps

I spent most of yesterday baking and prepping for Max's graduation party today...I still can't quite believe that my little brother is graduating from high school. I came home this summer and there he was. He has a girlfriend, he's graduating, and he has finally grown up (I wasn't sure that was ever going to happen). I also realized that we have a lot in common, more than I cared to admit over the course of the past eighteen years as his sister.

This weekend has been filled with memories. Last night I hung out with old friends (including my ex, which is unfortunately still awkward), and it was just like old times. Today is Max's graduation party and all of my family and friends will be there. Monday is the Memorial Day service where my little brother will be following in my footsteps as the bugler for Taps. I can't help but miss the life I left behind just a little bit.

In Max, I see everything I was when I graduated from high school. A relatively mature adult, in a relationship, about to leave for college and a new life despite hanging on to everything I knew and loved in my hometown. He and his girlfriend Carolyn (his first love) are planning a long-distance relationship in college, just like Robbie and me when I left two years ago. He is going to a small liberal arts college just like the one I currently attend. He has big dreams, just like I did. And he has finally realized how much he wishes he didn't have to leave the ones he loves behind, just like I did. In so many ways I suppose every high school graduate is much the same...I just never noticed until now.

I certainly wish him all the best, though I hope things work out better for him than they did for me. Sometimes, it is hard (if not impossible) to caution someone without sounding discouraging. Ultimately I know that the chances of him and Carolyn staying together throughout even the first year of college is slim. I know that no matter how hard you try to keep in touch with old friends that most of them drift apart. I also know how hard it can be to admit to yourself that things probably won't work out the way you plan them to...but still, I wish that for him they would.

A Little Inspiration

Today I was watching this video online: http://www.ted.com/talks/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion.html. It is a talk given by Benjamin Zander on passion for music, is about twenty minutes long, and is definitely worth watching! I couldn't help but love it, and would love to have the opportunity to see him speak in person...I'm sure that part of it was simply that I was thrilled to find that I understood all of the concepts he addressed, the other part was astonishment with regards to his ability to present information in a manner that absolutely anyone could understand (with or without a musical background)! It was so simple, so basic, but also brilliant.

Zander is probably my number two favorite speaker of all time preceded by Peter Loel Boonshaft, whom I was first introduced to at the 2010 OMEA (Ohio Music Education Association) conference. He is the author of three fabulous books on music education: Teaching Music with Passion, Teaching Music with Purpose, and Teaching Music with Promise. His books are fantastic, thought-provoking, and humorous, but...he is probably the most charismatic and inspirational speaker I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.